Today’s prompt for The Red Dress Club was to write about sloth or one of the seven deadly sins. This piece is about forgiveness, something we all struggle with.
I think my heart is cluttered.
My health is great. My mental stability is just fine. HA- I’m sure hubby would tell a different story during my ratchet time of the month.
I’ve taken a path in my life that I’m very comfortable with – honestly no regrets. I have discovered a comfortable level of peace and understanding in my life.
But something just doesn’t seem right….
I’m sure I’ve told all the people that are important to me how much I appreciate them. Anyone who knows me – knows I speak from my heart, KEEPING IT REAL along the way; the good and the bad.
So my heart can’t be cluttered from that…..
Are there things I need to get off my chest to a few people that have pissed me off along the way? Naw, cause I’m certain I took care of that awhile ago.
I’m stumped and not sure what could be causing this uneasiness I’ve been feeling lately.
I’ll admit. I have a mean-streak and I don’t forgive that easy. In fact, I don’t forgive at all. Especially, when I have accepted and overlooked lots of pain and rejection from people. I just compartmentalize the issue and move on.
But maybe, just maybe forgiving would help to release the small compartment that is now the size of a storage unit.
I’m not entirely convinced and I’m a little skeptical about the process because quite frankly, I’m still pissed at the betrayal. I won’t get into the specifics, you know who you are.
Possibly it’s why my heart feels cluttered.
I probably need to let it go – be free of the bullshit. But I’m not so sure about this approach. Sometimes, I like being angry and pissed off it helps me get through the pain. Also, some people just don’t deserve to be forgiven – plain and simple.
This is gonna take some time. I need advice.
Tell me. Why and how do you forgive?
Triplicity 
I know how you feel, I hate when I can’t pinpoint what is wrong with me.
I think things are getting better because I’ve finally just accepted that its better to more on and not look back with any regrets. Some people don’t deserve to be forgiven BUT I deserve to be happy
I’m going to sound awful here, but I’m not so sure forgiveness is always the answer. I know, I know — good for the soul and all that. But, I would rather go the route of acceptance of the anger, or acceptance of the feeling of betrayal. I guess I’m selfish — I want to make all these feelings into the whole that I am. That other person doesn’t deserve my efforts. But, I do. I forgive myself for feeling angry. Then, I just go ahead and feel it.
Thank you, Thank you…… with a deep sigh of relief *sigh* I’m glad to hear this because it is EXACTLY how I feel. We hear so much about forgiveness and that it will be the answer to our problems …yadda, yadda…
But honestly I’m not so sure I agree. There are simply some people that don’t deserve to be forgiven. What I’ve been saying is that I haven’t forgiven nor have I forgotten – I’ve just moved on. Moving on for me has meant these people and the challenging have been removed from my life completely. It’s been more than two years and so far I think I’m doing just fine. Also the part of me moving on has been forgiving myself for being angry and allowing the situation to bring out the worse in me. So when I’m praying – I’m not praying for them, but for my own soul.
“But maybe, just maybe forgiving would help to release the small compartment that is now the size of a storage unit.”
It’s hard to forgive… even harder to forget. And no matter how many times someone tells us we *should*, we have to figure out how to do it in our own way.
Good luck… sending you hugs and strength xx
I’m feeling the exact same way. I hope we make it through. Some think too much of this can cause disease and cancer:( “Dis-ease…hmmm.
I think you are in a difficult position. When I’ve been there (and it’s been alot) I try to remember that I may never be okay with whatever that person did. But to get through it for myself, I need to do whatever it takes even if that means getting along with that person.